...

My life is a storm. there is no calm, there is no eye. Just thick black clouds that surround me. Keeping me from seeing, form seeking. There is no one to be seen, no light, no love, just me. I look around and for the first time I notice something, the clouds are made up of my faults; the hurt feelings, the broken heart. The more I look the more that comes out. Betrayal, abandonment, disease, divorce, death, denial, the un-forgiveness, and worst of all, the false love. I see myself, and the hatred that was there, I see the yearning for love, for light, for acceptance. I see all the people I've loved, and helped, the people I've cared for, been there for, given everything for. They laugh at me, spit at me, it feels like acid rain. The lies of my life are like lightning. Zapping me, electrocuting me. My own personal hell. Then the storm changes, it's moving now.

There's a dark pit. There's no way around it. The storm surrounds the pit. The clouds are like walls, pushing me towards it. I'm scared. I don't want to go there. But it calls to me. I go towards it. Surrounding the pit are bones, skeletons or people long past, or so I thought. If the storm wasn't enough, the demons of my past and present are mocking me, calling me towards the pit. I run the other way, but the clouds have gotten closer. There will soon be no choice but to go into the pit. My life will be over. Hell will be real. The pain will be even more unbearable then it is now. That's it, there is no room. I will fall.

NO! I scream, This is not what I want. I am not going to give up! There has to be a way out. I pound on the wall of clouds. I beat and scream until my hands bleed and my throat is raw. Where is the sun?!? WHERE IS THE SON?!?!?!? There is no way. This can not be all there is!!!! I want more, I need more!

I can't do this anymore. I can't do this alone.

Who would want to save someone like me?

I am so tired.

The storm is winning. The demons are laughing. The pit is calling.